Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I Want To Be Mrs. Spock

First, I will begin by taking a page out of Liz's blog:

Song of the Moment

Video of the Moment (fast-forward to about 40 seconds in, that's when it gets good. Videos like this justify the existence of YouTube.)

Quote of the Moment: "I don't like answers. Wanna know why? TOO BAD; I don't like answers."

Current celebrity crush: Zachary Quinto. Marry me, Zachary. We can live forever in Heroes-and-Star-Trek bliss. That's right...this is the guy who will Spock in the upcoming film. *swoon* We were obviously meant to be. Call me.

Also, I think ZQ looks a teensy bit like Jeremy...maybe not so much in that picture, but in certain pics, there is definitely a resemblance.

******

Well...I guess it's about time that I did a little blog about college life. For the most part, it is pretty freaking sweet. I mean, I get to take a nap, like, EVERY DAY. Sometimes Kelli (my roomie) and I have like, synchronized naps. And once, me, Kelli, and Amanda had like a napping party, no homo. So that part is great.

Unfortunately, college is making me lazy. For serious. Like, today was the first time I've taken a shower since Sunday. Today is Wednesday. That's just gross. But I sometimes just can't summon up the initiative to wake up at 9:00 rather than 9:30 to drag myself into the shower. And I CERTAINLY cannot let personal hygiene intrude into my breakfast time. It's gotten to the point that Myron, the omelet guy up at Rollins Dining starts making a mozzarella-and-cheddar-cheese-omelet as soon as he sees me walking up. Now THAT is service, folks. And the days that they are out of Cinnamon Toast Crunch are days that I am sad.

And sure, now I have to PAY to do laundry, which basically means that the laundry does not get done until I run out of underwear, and I have to print off directions for EVERYWHERE that I want to go in town and still get lost anyways, and I never seem to have enough snack food in my room (I'm already out of Little Debbies, and I'm down to one remaining package of Fruit Nuggets, which are actually much tastier than the name would suggest), I have constant sense of guilt when I compare my unstoppable messiness to Kelli's relatively tidiness, the ink cartridges to my printer have disappeared under mysterious circumstances and I am therefor forced to use the community printer which eats up my Phychology printouts EVERY TIME, my bed creaks with the might of a thousand rusty springs every time I move even the most miniscule area of my body, I have $800 worth of checks to cash but I am too scared to try and drive to the bank, my car is parked approximatly 12 miles away from my dorm, and then there's that whole having-to-go-to-class nonsense.

But other than that...life is sweet. I go where I want, nobody berates me for taking too many naps, McDonald's is within walking distance, where its $1 large sweet teas call my name every time I wander near, we have basic cable TV in our room, I'm totally going to force Josh Robinson to go see "Get Smart" with me during one of the campus movie nights this weekend, my very sweet boyfriend calls me every day, I'm joining a Christian sorority that seems like it's going to be pretty fun, I never have to wake up earlier than 8, none of my classes are very homework-heavy, my theater class is super-fun....

So, yeah, things are good. :)

Random Fact: I love bonfires. I went to one at the annual DeLaPorte get-together this past weekend. I'm so easy--just give me a big pile of burning wood, some marshmallows and hotdogs and something to stick them on, and I'm thrilled.

Next fact: I reeeeaaaaally want to go the STL zoo before it gets too cold. I heard that a bunch of the animals procreated! I love it when they do that. So, Jeremy, if you're reading this...*hint hint* Take me to the zoo. And by 'take' I mean "meet me in St. Louis so we can go." I'll make white chili!!! An offer you cannot refuse.

Okay...I really need to go study for my Pychology Exam now...pray, dear friend, pray.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Ethiopia, Root Canals, Stupidity, and Vampire Butlers

I need a keeper. I really do. Sure, this whole adulthood thing is great, but seriously? I just need someone to follow me around, and keep from doing stupid things.

Case in point: most of today.

So, I had a dentist appointment this morning. I get up early (read: 9:00) to troop down to my car, which is parked waaaaaaaay out in the middle of Ethiopia. I get in my car, I spread my numerous maps out on the passenger seat. I peruse over them one final time. Convinced that I have them memorized, I start the ignition. Nothing happens. I try again. Squat. I look up, and see that the switch on my overhead light is set firmly at "ON". Crap. I left my light on, and now my battery is dead.

I call Mom and give her my sad story. Luckily, my mom is like a boyscout, and soon she shows up (She was in Columbia teaching a class), jumper cables in hand.

Okay, now my battery is recharged and I am ON MY WAY. I follow Mom for a while, until we go our separate ways. I followed her long enough that I only have ONE MORE TURN to take to get to the dentist's. Easy, right? Just ONE LEFT turn. To somewhere that I have actually been before.

I miss the turn.

So instead of Vanderveen Dental, I end up on a highway. When I realized that I was most definately on a highway, with no sight of a place to turn around, my initial reaction was something like this:

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

What can I say, I'm good in high-stress situation. Me, panic? Maybe at the disco, but not here, no sir. So I call my mom, who has left her phone in the van, and upon discovering that she is not answering, I hang up, and say a calm, collected prayer that went like this:

"WHY ISN'T MOM ANSWERING HER PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!! WHAT am I GOING to DO?????? I HATE DRIVING!!!!!"

So, plan B: I call the dentists office, to warn them I just might be a little teensy bit late, seeing as how I had NO IDEA WHERE THE CRAP I WAS.

It turned out okay, though, so you all can let go of that breath you were holding. I'm not still wandering aimlessly throughout the Columbia countryside. My very nice dentist directed me to the office.

And then I was told that I needed a root canal. Plus,9 fillings. Great.

Now, a small victory: I DID manage to get to Hobby Lobby without getting lost ONCE. Score!!!

But, when I left Hobby Lobby a little while later, I arrived at my car to find the doors locked, keys dangling from the ignition. That's right--I had locked them in. Luckily, I had a spare car key in my purse, because even I recognize my own 'tardness sometimes and come prepared.

After that, everything actually went in my favor for a while. That is, until, I returned to the dorm and tried to find the University Hospital, in order to get my antibiotics prescription filled. I must have walked around that stupid building ten times, looking for the lobby entrance. How was I supposed to know the way in was INSIDE THE PARKING GARAGE?

Seriously. I don't think I'm going to leave my dorm room for the rest of the day. I have enough food in here to keep me going, and I need to do some serious catching up on Pokemon DS. I've challenged Jeremy to a Pokemon battle, and I must uphold my honor by kicking his butt. I am such a nerd.

But to sum it up...I need a keeper. Maybe a butler, named Jasper, to follow me around, deal with my paperwork, and say things like "Miss, allow me to drive you." Yes...that sounds about right. And if my butler happened to be Jasper Cullen, I wouldn't frown on that either. (He could totally calm me down when I get panicky.)

Yes. That's the new plan.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Sorry About This, Jeremy

So, all my discussion of super-powers must have seeped into my subconscience, because last night I dreamed that I was a super-hero. I'm not entirely sure what my powers were, but I was part of a superhero league of sorts, and I wore a slinky black costume. Now, that would be cool enough by itself, but it gets better.

Not only was I was a sexy superhero, I was dating Batman. That's right--FREAKING BATMAN. And he was always all worried about me when we went into a battle against villains, because I was sort of new at the whole business, and he wanted to keep me safe.

At one point in the dream, I was captured by the gang of enemies. I managed to escape, however, after many tortures, and returned to my league, just as they were planning to stage a rescue operation. And when I stumbled in, exhausted and injured, my lover Batman scooped me into his arms just as I collapsed.

And the best part? Behind the mask, Batman was not Bruce Wayne. (Not that I would snub my nose at Christian Bale, or anything.) No, he was......

Sayid from LOST. Sexy accent and all.

Best. Dream. Ever.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

First Blog Post Ever

It was a tough road getting here.

So excited, I marched down the short hallway from my dorm to the lounge, booting up my laptop on the way. Upon entering, I surveyed my surroundings, seeking out the best possible blogging spot. I thought about sitting next to the guy on the couch, but he looked like he was engaged in actual school work, so I decided to be a good person and sit in the chair instead. All right--I set down my keys, my phone, and Ipod, and just as my butt is about to hit the cushy surface of the chair, my phone starts vibrating. It's the boyfriend. I miss the call. Oops. I head out to the hall to call him back (wouldn't want to disturb the intense-looking studying going on in the lounge) then realize that my laptop will be sitting all by it's lonely self. So I turn to couch-dude and have a short conversation that goes something like this:

Me: Hey, if I leave this here, will you make sure no one steals it?

CD: Uh...sure.

Me: Thanks, you're a sweetheart!

CD: Thanks

Me: And if you steal it...well, I know what you look like. So don't try anything funny.

CD:.........

So I chatted with the BF for a while. (He misses me. Go figure.) Then, ready once again to give a jump-start to my writing, I settled back in, laptop on top of my, well, lap.

But, as usual, I was distracted. After all, I can't have a good blog without a great name, now can I? Of course not. So I had to spend 20 minutes Facebook-chatting with Liz, brainstorming. So, if you're reading this, you'd better appreciate all the hard work that went into the creation of ItNeedsMoreCheese, subtitle, I Can Breathe Through This Blog.

What was I originally planning to talk about again? Oh yes.

I've recently begun to watch "Heroes", since my roommate Kelli so thoughtfully purchased the 1st season on DVD. It pretty much rocks my world. And it got me to thinkin': so many of these so-called "Super Powers" would basically be useless in real life. Let's deviate for a second and focus on X-Men. Controlling fire? Sweet, especially for battle purposes. Real-life applications, however, are limited to never needing matches, and being a real hoot to invite to a bonfire. Same sort of thing with electricity manipulation. All right! I can jumpstart my car with no cables! Now all I need is for some sort of water-fiend to attack the city, and then maybe I'll have a real purpose.

Reading minds, unless you are a police officer or a judge, seems downright depressing. Sure, it would let me know if I had a big hunk of spinach trapped between my teeth that no one wanted to mention. But other than that, I don't think I really want to know what people think about me all the time. I prefer to live my life in a beautiful cloud of self-denial, believing everyone likes me, and likes each other and is generally happy. Also, I REALLY don't want to know what my Stats professor was doing with his wife last Tuesday night. I'll pass on that.

Now, if I had my pick, I would pick something extremely useful, like being able to turn into animals. You know, Animorphs style. Except without all the catches, like the whole you have to actually touch the animal to absorb its DNA, and you can only be in a shape for two hours, and that whole saving the world from aliens crap. All of that, I could do without. I just want to win Animal Planet's pet tricks competions, occasional shark-swim up and down the Mississippi just to add excitement to some people's lives, and fly around wherever I want to go so that I will never have to drive again.

Speaking of driving, I have a pronouncement to make: Google Maps, you are forever dead to me. I trusted you, and you lead me astray. Waaaaaay astray. So you have no one to blame but yourself when I cut you from my life and instead fling myself into the waiting, sultry arms of MapQuest. YOUR PLEADING WILL NOT SWAY ME, GOOGLE MAPS. You have BROKEN MY HEART. Because of you, I sat in my car last night in some closed-down golf course, sniffing back tears as I anxiously scanned over your DECEITFUL DIRECTIONS OF ABANDONMENT, trying to figure out what I did wrong. Well, you know what? I did NOTHING wrong. YOU are at fault, and nothing that you, our therapist, OR your lawyer say can convince me otherwise. We are THROUGH. You have betrayed me, and emptied my gas tank during that merry little jaunt you sent me on, all throughout Columbia. And, okay, I DID manage to figure out where Wal-Mart is because of it, but that's NOT THE POINT. Especially since I've already forgotten how to get back there. But that's okay, because I have MapQuest now, and we are HAPPY TOGETHER. And MQ is better than you will ever be! That's right--I said it. And now we part ways forever. You will never find directions back to MY heart. You'll just have to seduce someone else with your big promises and easy-to-read-font. IT'S OVER.

Well...this post didn't exactly go in the direction I had planned. I'll try to do better next time.